The phenomenon of feeling the need to be over-scheduled is taking over. Long gone are the days of sipping tea on the porch while the kids run and play, using their imaginations.
As nurses (or any working mom), wives, and mothers, we often find ourselves running 100 miles per hour every day. We work our 8, 10, or 12-hour shifts and hustle to make dinner, run errands, go to ball games, and make sure everyone is fed and bathed. Most days there just are not enough hours in the day.
This is why we have to make the most of the hours we do have and start living our lives by putting what is most important first.
Becoming a mother has changed my perspective on life in the most positive way. It has allowed me to take a step back and look at the bigger picture as a whole. I want to make the most of my time, making memories, and living a life in which I feel fulfilled in every aspect.
Here are the 5 signs:
1.You Feel Stressed, Overwhelmed, and Do Not Make Time For Yourself or Ask For Help.
Being a working parent can be difficult. We all face our own challenges daily, but learning to find time for yourself, without the guilt, is often times non-existent. It is so important to schedule time for yourself and do something that will take some stress off of you. If you are an overwhelmed, stressed out person, then everyone around you suffers from that. It can come out at work, toward your husband or kids, or even present as a medical issue in the form of depression or anxiety. By taking time for yourself, de-stressing, everyone around you, including yourself, will be able to live a healthier and happier life.
Ask for help! If you are fortunate enough to have loved ones close by or even friends who can help you out, ask for it. You cannot be everywhere at once, so stop trying to be. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness or a cry for help. Just suck it up, and ask.
2.Your Kids Are In Every Activity There Is To Sign Up For.
It is great to get our kids involved in activities for various reasons. They learn social skills, working as a team, how to resolve conflict, etc. But, are we over-booking our kids?
Even kids need a breather sometimes.
As a parent, it is hard to not involve your child when their friends are doing the same activity, or you feel that if they don’t play summer basketball, they won’t be on the starting team during the season. In the long run, is that really what matters? Kids need to find things that they are good at to help them grow and build confidence, but will it make them a professional basketball or baseball player? Maybe, but is it worth spending every evening away from home, eating out of a drive through window, and missing family time at the dinner table?
Remember, the things you do with your kids when they are younger will be something that you instill in them as adults. Growing up, we had a dinner time. No matter what was going on, we ate dinner as a family and had our family time. As an adult today with my own family, that is something that is important for me to instill in my kids. As much as it is difficult to not get caught up in the politics and the rush of always being busy, it is also important to take a step back and reassess what is important.
Let your kids know that you care about them and not just what they can do.
3. You Do Not Allow Your Kids To Lead and Make Decisions About Their Activities
Allowing our children to be in activities also gives us as parents the ability to show our kids a lesson in commitment. Once they have chosen to try something, make sure they know to stick with it and that they cannot give up and quit. Once they have tried the activity and no longer want to try it again, allow your child to make that decision. Let your kids know that you care about them and not just what they can do. It so easy to get tied up in making them practice and helping them be the best they can be, but are you doing it for your child, or the sport? Is it for a life lesson or so they can be the best on the team and score the most points?
4. You Do Not Know How To Say “NO!”
I used to be really bad about this, i’ll be the first to admit. I wanted to be able to do everything everyone asked and do it 110%. The more secure I became in my career and life, I decided it was time to say no. No, I did not have time to take on any more clients, even though that meant saying no to money coming in, because I wanted a life. I needed time for myself.
It is OK to say no!
Saying no does not mean that you aren’t incapable or inadequate. It just means that you are too busy and decide that you cannot take on another thing or it will compromise you and your family time. People who know what it is like will understand. There will always be more opportunities for you to pick up extra tasks and add extra activities in your schedule, but if it doesn’t work out at that moment, don’t stress about it!
5. You Don’t Listen To Your Body.
So many of us that are on the go 24-7 are running our bodies into the ground. Do you feel fatigued? Are you not getting enough sleep or staying hydrated? Then STOP! It is time to focus on you. When you are run down, exhausted, and foggy-brained, you might as well be drunk! You won’t be worth anything or be able to focus on the task at hand. Really try to go to bed on time, make sure you are eating correctly and getting meals in during the day. Being a nurse, I know that it can be 5 or 6 or more hours before you get a chance to eat because you are so busy. Try to make time!
Nobody can maintain a go-go-go lifestyle without getting burnt out. Often times when we are all worn out, our families and jobs suffer. In nursing, we can’t afford to make an error due to a fuzzy brain. We have to be on top of our games every single second.
Over-scheduling your life and your family will only result in a stressful environment for everyone. Learn how to take time for yourself and invest in your well-being. Take time to do the things that you love, for yourself or with your family. Sometimes you may have to lower your expectations, ask for help, or just say no. It is your life and you only have one, so make sure that you are not obsessing over doing everything and getting everything done. Make every minute and every memory made count. You’ll be glad you did.